It is weigh in day, usually I don’t feel panicked, but today was different. I knew already that the scale had not moved for me this week. I knew that in the weight loss journey sometimes you have a slow week. I mean I have done this before and know you can’t lose 3 or 4 pounds every week, but still I felt horrible at my .2-pound loss. Could I have done something different, drink more water, not had the Pho Soup that my very tired and sore body was craving…..well yes. I could have but I did not. This past week has been crazy, snow days and not being able to get out of my driveway to go to the gym or yoga, and a fibro flare up with my shoulder feeling like it was going to dislocate. I felt like I was losing my motivation, but I realized something.
I have lost 14.2 pounds so far, I have lost inches, I have not had a gain, I am still going forward. I have so many people who are behind me cheering me on. I must tell myself I am more than that number on the scale, I am how I feel in my new 14lbs less skin, I am fitting into my jeans, I am the girl who smiles more, who has more energy, and feels stronger. I am the new me, beginning to blossom, just need more nurturing and sunshine to bloom. I am that girl who is back on track, and as I always tell my students, Making Good Choices.
I am making a commitment to blog a little more, not matter what the result is on February 25 and the announcement of the Top 15. There are so many worthy ladies in this challenge and I wish each and everyone of them good luck, in the Challenge and life going forward beyond the Challenge. You are all beautiful and amazing ladies.
As part of my “Gifts” from The Total Makeover Challenge” I was given the opportunity to have a session with Life Coach, Heather Rieder. I would like to share some of the wisdom she gave to me in that session and some of the homework she gave me. One thing that she told me was that I needed to let go of the rope that I was desperately clinging to, you know the one that essentially prevents me from falling off the imaginary cliff I think I am going to fall off. She is right, I posted a picture in my previous blog saying that is the girl I wanted to become again, she told me that girl is in the past and that I need to look to the future and make my future even better than my past. Why is it so hard for us to let go of the past? I think because it is safe, it is familiar, and sometimes we think that is when we were the happiest. I thought I was so happy then compared to now, but really, I was not. I keep thinking that if I could get back to that I would not feel so angry all the time. The reality is that going back to that girl is not going to make me less angry because that girl was not dealing with the health concerns I have now. What is making me angry is being sick and tired of being sick and tired, I was never like this before Fibromyalgia and Thyroid took over. So, I am not really mad at my family and friends, I am mad at the fibromyalgia and the thyroid, so tackling those problems by getting healthier is my next goal. Heather told me I need to try and incorporate more fun into my life, things that make me happy, joyful and giddy. What does that look like? Singing, Dancing and getting my camera out and shooting, things that I am not doing currently, but need to start doing again. When you are doing things that give you joy, you can’t help but feel joyful and happy, this is my next goal. Heather encouraged me to let go of that girl in the picture and the picture, so…….my Facebook profile picture got changed. Nothing says happiness more that holding a baby alligator. Thank you, Heather, for opening my eyes and my heart to going out of my comfort zone. Something that occurred to me is that for me The Total Makeover Challenge is more than just shedding weight it is about shedding the old me and finding the new me, The Better Me!
The Tale of Two Closets……This weather really is draining, Snow, Snow, Snow. My car is still parked in the driveway buried under the SNOW. I have not been able to get to the gym and have not really gone anywhere unless it was with my husband in our 4×4 Ford F350. I am not a good driver in the snow, or at least I don’t feel safe driving in the snow, not quite ready to try and get out of my comfort zone on this one. Good thing that our schools are closed too, I am a Teaching Assistant with the Abbotsford School District. One of the good things about being stuck at home is that I got to organize my closets. My spare bedroom has now been transformed into my reward closet. All my clothes that are too small because I grew out of them are hanging in that closet. I spent hours yesterday organizing them and let me tell you it was a workout. The plan is that as I lose weight I don’t have to go out and buy new clothes, I can just go into my rewards closet, just getting back into my old favorites is inspiration enough to stick to my weight loss goals. One pair of jeans, my bling bum jeans are my final goal jeans.
It is kind of funny in a way, I can really relate to “Finding Nemo”, I feel like I have been swimming in a big huge ocean, trying to find myself, even though I know I have people beside me, for the past while I have been feeling like I am a little fish in a big ocean.
In 2013 my father passed away, he was my light, my rock. I was overweight, overworked and having gallbladder problems. A friend of my husband and I, sent us a picture, he was unrecognizable losing over 100lbs, he looked amazing. We immediately asked how he did it. He told us about this program Ideal Protein, I knew at that moment I had to find the location and get started. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, so I joined along with my husband. Together we both lost a tonne of weight, I lost almost 60lbs, I had energy, I felt beautiful, I felt the healthiest I had in years. I had head shots done for my photography business by Kim Mallory, I was not used to being in front of the camera, but she made it so easy. The photos were amazing, I had a sparkle in my eyes, a glow in my face, I loved that girl, she had it going on. My favorite photo from that session is what I always look at and think where did she go, how did she get so lost and how do I find “her” again.
Where did that girl go? She got lost in a sea of life, work, kids, family tragedy, sadness, depression, chronic pain from Fibromyalgia and a messed up Thyroid. I forgot about my healthy eating habits and being active and replaced those with eating foods that were poisoning my body, wheat, sugar, diet pop. Now I am here, in a body I don’t recognize, in a mind I don’t recognize I looked at the picture I submitted for this challenge and cried, I don’t know this girl. I want me back the old me the one that was happy, that had a sparkle in my eye. This Challenge is going to help me find her, she better be ready, because I am coming for her. So what are my plans for “Finding Terry”? Well for a start, Simple Body in Abbotsford (Ideal Protein), Thank you Rick Parks for believing in me and Marcel too. I know it may take some time to find her, but I think I can do it.
Well Hello There! Welcome to my first blog post. It has been just over two weeks since I got the call that I was chosen to be among 30 incredible ladies to do The Total Makeover Challenge. I had only applied a few days prior, busy life had made me procrastinate myself into applying literally on the last day for submissions. I will tell you that as I filled out my application, my hands were shaking and the tears were flowing as I read my submission to my husband. My exact words are below.
In four words \”I want to live\”, I am 51, I am a busy mom, I work two jobs and I am fighting a Thyroid condition and Fibromyalgia. The weight I have on me is making all this worse, I need to change and will do whatever it takes to do it. I want to live to see my older daughter married with children, and my youngest (she is 12) graduate from Medical School. I need a help to get there. I want to feel beautiful and well again. I want to say YES instead of NO to my daughter when she wants to go and do activities like swimming or going for walks because i am not embarrassed to be seen in a swims suit. I think there is something about having the support of this program that may just help me get there. So I am asking you to chose me and help me make a change in my life, so I can live my life.
I am so happy to be a part of this process, the support I have received from my friends, family and co-workers has been truly amazing. How can you go wrong when you have so many people rooting for you. I am blessed to have a husband who not only supports my journey but is also doing the healthy lifestyle changes with me. I am pretty new to Blogging but I will have more updates coming soon. Thank you again stopping by.
- Terry Begemann
This is my heart. My beautiful family, who I want to live for. Missing is my son Miguel and Step Daughter Laura